I HAVE PROOF

When I was younger, I was a widely known movie star. My heartless character was well-documented. I have proof, recorded during my youth, to defend myself against the “Having a Big Heart” charge.

THE PROOF WILL SET ME FREE

Yes, I have proof. And the proof will set me free.

SEE - I TOLD YOU SO

A lot of people don’t know this but I haven’t always looked liked I do now. No … when I was younger I was nowhere near as handsome as I am now. Then, with the invention of Cincom software and plastic surgery I became the man I am today.

ME ON FILM

See? I told you so. So …

In the latest twist in the bizarre case of Jerry Shawhan, the Heartless Hilarity Publishing Company rushed to market his autobiography.

FREE JERRY NOW!

Home and Family
Luke is the son of Brad and Gloria Christie of Due West, S.C. He has two older brothers, Parker and Spencer, a dog, a cat and goldfish.

Health History
Luke has spinal muscular atrophy type 2, a progressive neuromuscular disease that causes muscle weakness. He uses a power wheelchair for mobility.

School
Luke is a junior honor student at Dixie High School. He is a state vice president in Future Business Leaders of America, is active in Beta Club, serves on the yearbook staff, and plans to attend college to pursue a career in the communications field.

Interests
Country music, public speaking, reading novels, writing, swimming and “hanging out” with friends are just some of Luke’s interests. Luke is a Global Teen Leader in the We Are Family Foundation Three Dot Dash Just Peace initiative, a Life-ranked Boy Scout, and acts and volunteers at a community theater.

MDA Role
As MDA National Youth Chairman, Luke spearheads the efforts of thousands of teenagers and young adults who help the Association’s lifesaving mission. He supports MDA through appearances at sponsor and volunteer events and through media interviews.

MDA Activities
Luke served in 2006 and 2007 as MDA’s National Goodwill Ambassador, and appeared with his family on the Jerry Lewis MDA Labor Day Telethon in 2005, 2006 and 2007 to share his story. Luke also served as the 2008 MDA Harley-Davidson Goodwill Ambassador and three terms (2003-05) as MDA’s South Carolina Goodwill Ambassador.

BAIL ME OUT!

FREE JERRY SHAWHAN

A FORMER PRESIDENT WEIGHS IN ON THE JERRY SHAWHAN CASE.

DOUBTS ARISE ABOUT PRESIDENT’S AUTHENTICITY

HELP BAIL JERRY OUT

SHOCK,  AWE, AND DISBELIEF REIGN AMONG LONG-TIME FRIENDS

Friends and colleagues of Jerry Shawhan, while reacting with shock and disbelief over his being locked up on charges of “having a big heart,” are nonetheless coming out in support of the prisoner.

RUMORS

“I’ve known Jerry for a couple decades. He’s never exhibited, once, any sign of having a heart.” said Pat Dowling, National Sales Director for Cincom Document Solutions. “Sure, I’ve heard the rumors … but rumors are rumors.”

UNBLEMISHED RECORD OF HEARTLESS ACTS

“I suspect Jerry Shawhan has a small heart because over the years, he’s displayed an unblemished record of heartless acts. I know no clearer way to say this. Simply put, Jerry Shawhan has NO heart. Never has. Never will. I mean, look ‘heartless’ up in the dictionary.

“See what I mean?”

OFF THE RECORD

“This is off the record,” Mr. Dowling said to this writer in hushed tones. “You can’t use anything I just said publicly. You know how Jerry is. He’s on the Finance Committee. He’ll cut my budget and lay off 75% of my people if he heard me say anything nice about him. But he really shouldn’t be in jail—at least without the proper amount of waterboarding.”

“Please ask the public to help bail him out.”

BAIL JERRY SHAWHAN OUT!

JERRY SHAWHAN: MDA’S MOST WANTED CITIZEN

This is Jerry Shawhan’s “Most Wanted Citizen” fundraising site for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Jerry Shawhan has been accused of “Having a Big Heart.”

EXCUSE ME A MINUTE

I’m the writer. I need a quick break. Be right back.

I’M BACK

Jerry is “Going Behind Bars for Good.”

DEJA VUE

I’m not saying he’s been there before but …

FRESH START

But this time, all the bail money raised goes to the MDA and Jerry’s Kids.

CAN YOU SPARE A JERRY SOME $$$$?

All proceeds to the MDA.

CAN YOU LEND A JERRY A HAND?

How to Help

There are many ways you can help the fight against neuromuscular disease. Concerned individuals, companies and organizations have made it possible for MDA to continue its worldwide research efforts and nationwide programs to aid those with neuromuscular diseases and their families.

First – you can help Jerry Shawhan’s bail efforts by donating below.

Or to help nationwide you can donate via any of the options below.

By Phone	On-line	By Mail

Help

Single Gift Quick Click Gift in Memory Gift in Honor Product Donations

MY STORY IN UNDER 300 WORDS

My name?

Gerald L. Shawhan.

I SMILE THOUGH FALSELY ACCUSED

I have overseen the finance, human resources, legal, facilities, information technology systems, office services and purchasing functions of Cincom Systems in Cincinnati, Ohio for the last 26 years.

MERETRICIOUSLY MERITLESS

I have unjustly, without foundation, without merit, maliciously, capriciously, unjudiciously, facetiously and every other “iciously” been accused of …

“Having a big heart” for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

I NEED YOUR HELP!

I’m going behind bars for “GOOD.”

PLEASE HELP BAIL ME OUT!

Your donation is my key to freedom! Be proud of the fact that together we’re providing help and hope to kids and adults served by MDA in our community. Thanks for making a difference! AND please stay tuned for …

MY UPCOMING OFFENSIVE DEFENSE

Over the next several weeks, I’m going to put up a solid defense of the charges against me. They will be proved baseless and totally without merit.

For example, I was originally a metallurgical engineer, and my early career includes 22 years at the University of Cincinnati where I held a number of positions including Assistant Vice-President of Business Affairs, Director of Institutional Research, and Director of Campus Planning and Construction. I was also an adjunct Associate Professor of Mathematics there.

METALLURGICALLY AND MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

I have more mathematically and metallurgically correct ways to be completely heartless than anyone you’ve ever met. (When I meet the guy really responsible for writing these wiley witti-criticisms, I’m going to have him fired.)

Now, really,  have a heart? With those Street Creds? Impossible.

PLEASE HELP ME! (Does this sound like I’m begging?)

If my folks at work believe I have a big heart, I won’t be able to do my job.

P.S. I heard there was a charge per word over 300, so I decided to cut my story short to cut the expense.

P.S.S. When I catch the guy who wrote “the last 26 years” and the first “22 years” of my work history, I’m going to fire him too.

Meet Brett and Jacob Rhoad who have Duchenne muscular dystrophy. The Rhoad family, of Chapin, S.C., were featured on the national broadcast of the Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon.

This is my Jerry Shawhan story. He had his say. I’m gonna have mine. Jerry have a heart?

At one time, I was gainfully employed. A productive member of society heading up the Public Relations department at Cincom Systems, a software company in Cincinnati, Ohio.

I was happy—even winning some awards for PR and writing along the way.

THEN I MET JERRY SHAWHAN

Happier Days - Before Jerry Shawhan Fired Me

See that picture?

What you don’t see is that Jerry Shawhan personally gave me that gold (faux) medal.

What for?

Well, we needed to cut some costs, and I had secured my 97-year-old Grandmother a job doing some corporate PR work. Grandma Kayser visited nursing homes and cleaned bedpans, passed out food at the homeless shelters and on weekends, went undercover in the local park helping police bust drug traffickers and gang activities. She worked six days a week. Ten hours a day.

Grandma Kayser did all this despite the fact that she had a fake right leg and left arm. War injuries. That’s right. WW II. It actually was captured in the picture below. She’s the one in the middle—she was rushing to help a fellow soldier.

Now Grandma Kayser wasn’t costing much. She worked for insurance benefits. That’s it. No salary whatsoever. She just needed the healthcare insurance. But Jerry asked me politely if I could cut some more costs, hard times being what they are, and he suggested that Grandma Kayser get the boot.

I WAS HORRIFIED

I said sure. No problem. I did it. He gave me that award above for cutting her out. Letting her go. I was smiling when he gave me that award—my job was saved. See above picture again. But right after that picture?

WORKWEEK REDUCTION

Jerry pulled me into his office and said that anyone that would do that to his own Grandmother had to go. But, then he said since he was a charitable person and feeling generous, he was only going to ask me to take a workweek reduction.

I was thrilled. I mean I have five kids that I have to pay college tuition for and I recently lost my 401K investment to Harrah’s Casino (it was a charitable contribution—I gave, they took.)

I asked him,  “Four day work week?”

Jerry replied, “No, zero days. That way we won’t have to pay your unemployment.”

SEE?

Jerry Shawhan’s Defense Team (basically anyone that knows him) posted this picture online to help bolster his defense.

Pretty convincing.